Its 1996 - Computer Catalogs. Beige. Pentium III. Windows 95. AOL CDs. Dial-Up Modems.
Behind the glossy brochures and big promises, most “solution providers” aren’t shaping the future—they’re stuck in the past. Their playbook? Warehouses, quotas, and catalogues that feel like a German computer magazine circa November ’96. They sell beige boxes and call it “digital acceleration.” They wrap upsell funnels in fancy German words like Hyperpflege and Kundenerfolgsrahmen. Tech shouldn’t smell like 1996. It should solve real problems.
There’s a whole species of “solution providers” out there who parade around like they’re shaping the future of technology.
But peel back the glossy brochure veneer and what do you actually find?
A catalogue.
A warehouse.
A sales quota.
A business model that hasn’t evolved since the days of dial up and beige plastic.
They talk like innovators.
They operate like wholesalers.
They sell like it’s still 25. November 1996.
wunderbar!
They genuinely think saying “ooh look at us, we have 100 odd locations in XY & Z European countries !” is some kind of flex... It isn't!
Congratulations — you’ve mastered the art of renting buildings, that doesn’t make you an innovator.
In reality, you’re the modern day equivalent of a German computer magazine catalogue from 1996 — pages of beige boxes, bad deals, and buzzwords pretending to be brilliance.
Give them half a chance and they’d still try to sell you Windows 95 auf Diskette, proudly calling it “neu!” and “wunderbar!”
Jetzt bestellen! they’d shout — as if the Startmenü was going to save your infrastructure.
Meanwhile, their entire business model depends on...
• Shifting overpriced, underpowered tin that’s obsolete before it leaves the warehouse
• Selling “solutions” that are really just bundled regrets
• Offering advice copy pasted from vendor PDFs
• Recommending refresh cycles that create more landfill than impact
• Pushing Hyperpflege like it’s a real strategy
• Promising Digitale Beschleunigung while deploying beige boxes
It’s not sustainability.
It’s not innovation.
It’s theatre.
It’s tired.
And it smells like 1996.
• Delivering Mehrwertdienste that add zero actual value
• Wrapping everything in Kundenerfolgsrahmen that are just upsell funnels
Nein! slashdotcom Isn’t Having It..
We’re not here to shift boxes and call it strategy.
We’re not here to greenwash our way through a sales cycle.
We’re not here to pretend that a warehouse network equals innovation.
We build things that last.
We design with intention.
We invest in community, not just inventory.
We solve real problems , not catalogue shaped ones.
We Speak Your Language
Meanwhile
the catalogue kings are out here shouting:
“Hyperpflege!” — translation: we’ll call you once, then disappear.
“Kundenerfolgsrahmen!” — translation: we’ve built a funnel to upsell you things you didn’t ask for.
“Digitale Beschleunigung!” — translation: we’ll sell you a beige box and hope you don’t notice.
At slashdotcom
We speak clarity.
We speak delivery.
We speak your language — whether that’s English, Deutsch, or just plain common sense.
Finally A Message to the 1996 Catalogue Kings
If you’re going to call yourself a solution provider, provide solutions.
If you’re going to brag about your footprint, make sure it’s not just warehouses.
If you’re going to talk sustainability, try doing something that isn’t a PowerPoint slide.
Because the industry doesn’t need more 1996 era catalogue companies pretending to be pioneers, innovators or solution providers.
It needs people willing to do the work.
Until that happens, we’ll keep doing what we do at slashdotcom, building with purpose, designing with integrity, and proving that tech can be a force for good when you actually mean it.
